My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
