I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
