I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
OPIZZABONMYDICK
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize