I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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