So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
