The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize