the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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