i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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