Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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