Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
