Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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