Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
