Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
