found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Randomize
