hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
