hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
