i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
