Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
