found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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