is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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