I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
