To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize