You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
