I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize