i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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