I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i would punch a child for taco bell
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
