my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my shit smells like andre
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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