What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize
