There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
