Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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