I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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