Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
