3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
