Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
