i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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