had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize