He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
