So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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