Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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