It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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