I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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