I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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