she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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