thus making me awesome and them whores
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
