I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
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Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
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Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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