Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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