Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
