thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
