whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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