Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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