We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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