I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Randomize
