I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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