I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
