Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
