I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
