There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
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is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
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I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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