I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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