the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
