Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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