she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
