I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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