Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
